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[00:00:06] Interview: In Georgetown, Delaware, the date is April 1st, 1999, and we're talking about her life history and growing up in Southern Delaware. This is for the Delmarva Hope Life Project. [00:00:21][14.5]

[00:00:22] Martha Mifflin: Here was in the doctor's office. And she remembered, I had never cleaned for her, but she had heard about what a good job I did in cleaning. And as I told you, that was because for our parents, I mean, everything had to be clean. I mean spick and span. Every weekend you cleaned and you definitely had a room that you didn't use. The good room, they called it. And it was closed until weekends, so to speak, and whenever company come, that's when they went in. And everything had to be spotless. So you knew how to clean. And so she asked me about coming and cleaning for her. And I told her that I didn't do cleaning anymore because I had a family of my own, and I couldn't do it. So a few weeks later. Her husband would come flying up in the yard in his car, jumped out and come running in and told me that his wife had sent him to come and get me because she was going to have company and she needed me to come help her clean. And before I could speak, my husband told him said, "my wife told your wife she doesn't do cleaning anymore." And I was in the middle of a wash in the laundry. And he said... "Don't you see she's busy right now? You tell your wife to come help her to wash." Oh, that man took off out of there.[laughs] I was mad my husband was home so I didn't have to answer. But yeah, that's what happened. [00:02:03][101.2]

[00:02:07] Interview: You were saying a little bit earlier, since we started in on this, a little earlier about how when you were raising your children, people had to make that same choice of whether to... [00:02:18][11.1]

[00:02:18] Martha Mifflin: Work yes um I can't say that I actually chose to be a housewife and most people look for me to do something else because I was very good in my studies and what have you. And as I told you before, I always led my classes after the third grade. The teacher had to wrap my knuckles. And I can't stand them. And after that, I led my class right straight on through to graduation high school. And I graduated with top honors in high school, but. When I did get married, I did choose to stay home and raise mine the way my mother raised me. Because I liked the way my mother raised me. She was there for us. And as I told you, she, those ladies only worked during the summer at the canner, most of them. And the rest of the time, they like took in laundry, clean, uh, foul and what have you to, um, make extra money. And for myself, I did the surplus foods and all that. I sewed most of my girls' clothes. I was fortunate that people gave me clothes. And a lot of times, I altered things for the kids. And To me, I enjoy being a mother, just a mother. In fact, the only reason why I did go out to work was because my nerves were going bad and the doctor told me that I wasn't fulfilled enough and I needed to go out and that's what really took me out of the house. When my youngest child was three years old. But, yes, I had a girlfriend. Same thing happened to, just so happened that we got married and the children were coming so fast. And we decided to stay home with them. And yes, at one point I was, after they started getting of age, when my oldest daughter became old enough more or less to take care of, be responsible with, that's when I really went to work. But before then I worked out on weekends, or one time I worked nights at King Cole, My husband was on days. Then I did housekeeping on the weekend and sold Avon, but that soon started getting too much for me, so I gave all of that up and just concentrated on taking care of the family, because with the surplus foods and everything, we could make it, and my soul knew it had it. And I don't regret it. If I had to do it over, I'd do it again. And the thing of it is now, when my children can come to me and talk about, we can all sit around and talk, about how they grew up and how they enjoyed it. [00:05:32][193.8]

[00:05:33] Interview: Let me just add here, you have six children. [00:05:39][6.2]

[00:05:39] Martha Mifflin: I have six. [00:05:40][0.5]

[00:05:41] Interview: And all of them are successful? [00:05:44][2.9]

[00:05:46] Martha Mifflin: Yes, I would call it successful. The oldest was assistant to the director at the Presbyterian Church. The next oldest, the boy, is a policeman. The next eldest is a boy, and he has a program working with youth. Delaware Futures, where he takes and helps young people who might be just having minor problems, nothing difficult, with their grades and what have you, and he's successful at that. The next is a girl. She works for the brokerage firm. Right now, the next to the baby is working for the unemployment office because she just moved back home, her and her husband, to be with me. [00:06:54][67.8]

[00:06:55] Interview: Is that Elizabeth? [00:06:56][0.4]

[00:06:56] Martha Mifflin: That's Elizabeth. And my youngest works at B.B. Hospital, nurse assistant. And she's planning to go back to school. In fact, she started, but she has two children and it was too much for her because they're both in school. And they're kind of young yet. I told her right now, with her daughter being 13, she didn't need... To be trying to do too much because it's a very impressionable age, so that's it. [00:07:31][34.6]

[00:07:36] Interview: And your mother, your mother was at home when you were, when she was raising your mom. Yes. And one of the things that I and many people have commented on about your family is how close the children are, and there seems to be a very strong sense of... A little bit. [00:08:04][27.4]

[00:08:05] Martha Mifflin: That's something that my husband and I worked on, because we had seen so many... Well, my family, my brothers and sisters and all of us are close. [00:08:13][8.7]

[00:08:15] Martha Mifflin: Because Mom let us fight it out. You know if we got mad with each other as long as we didn't hurt each other then let's fight it up and So we grew close and this is what my husband and I did with our children as long As they weren't because that's all part of growing up a lot of people are act as mediators You know and they don't let them settle their own problems and then by me being sickly When the first three were born for a period of time there. And I couldn't go to church like anything. We taught them to sing. And that's where the singing started. Barbara, the oldest, was only six years old. And we all loved to sing, so we would be around the house singing, you know, whatever. And we always taught them songs to sing to go. And we took them, we kept them together. One old lady told myself and a girlfriend of mine, if you want to raise your family, and for them to really follow your values, take them to the country. If you can, don't live close. And the Lord blessed us that my husband's boss had a house out in the country, and he offered to rent it to us and we moved out there. So we did have our children to ourselves. When we first got married, we didn't have telephone, television, nothing like that. And so we just had ourselves and well we had a radio but basically we had to talk to each other we had be with each other so that brought that closer and then the music really sealed it. And my husband used to always tell him that when you grow up, he told the boys, he said, if you have a female friend and she would come between you and your family, try to separate you from your family especially your mother, you don't need her. He told the girls the same thing, that if they would try to pull you away from your mother. He always said the mother. But I believe the father too, but he just said this thing about the mother. [00:10:29][134.1]

[00:10:30] Martha Mifflin: And so that that's what it was that made him so close. I mean he kept that before all the time and never let your brother or sister have to ask you for anything. If you see that your brother a sister needs then you help that brother or sister and we used to teach them too that when as each one became of age and if they didn't decide to go to school and they went out to work then they would have to help the other that was going in, internally. And not to let them have to ask somebody outside because that's why so many families are broken up. Also, the old ladies taught me to teach my boys how to take care of themselves because that why so may boys go out and they wind up living with some woman because they don't know how to care of themself. There were certain things that the girls had to learn for the same reason. And it was a lot of older women that affected my life. I was never able to be around the young girls like a lot of my peer group. I was basically with old people from far back as I can remember. And so that's where a lot ours came from. And my husband, in talking to him, he was the same way. He loved to be round the old men, so we had old moms. [00:11:55][84.8]

[00:12:00] Interview: Or maybe just a little lighter, huh? [00:12:02][2.3]

[00:12:03] Martha Mifflin: Yes. Yes. [00:12:04][0.9]

[00:12:05] Interview: He said you married when you were very young. [00:12:07][2.4]

[00:12:09] Martha Mifflin: I was 18. How old were you? How old was your husband? Well, I went to school with his brothers and sisters, with his two brothers, and they were very well known for their skill at playing ball. Everybody knew him. They were the toasts of the high school. He was in the service. And when he came home on leave, the brothers introduced us. Because he saw me before I saw him. And at that time he told his brothers he was going to marry me. I took one look at him and I said, uh-uh. And then he was the best friend of my sister's husband. They grew up together. So when we would go out, it would be that way. I would be with him. She would be her fiancee or husband, his name. But that's how we met. And we were married at 18. When I was 18. But I tell you, my husband did adore me. That's why I can't. He was the best. His nickname was Bob Rowe. Bob Rove? Bob Rogue. Bob Rouve. Bob Rrove. He would dance. Well, we both came from dancing families. That was something else, and musically inclined, so we have that in common. And he came from a large family. [00:13:53][104.8]

[00:13:55] Interview: Was he also from this area? [00:13:57][1.7]

[00:13:58] Martha Mifflin: In Georgia That's what I'm doing here This family lives in town [00:14:04][5.8]

[00:14:08] Interview: Okay [00:14:08][0.0]

[00:14:10] Interview: This next question. [00:14:11][0.6]

[00:14:12] Interview: Well, now we talked about when your children were small, you stayed at home and raised them, and then you went out to work. [00:14:21][9.8]

[00:14:26] Martha Mifflin: That's when I went to, well, summers after Barbara got older, as I said, my first job was at Silco's department store. I was away at conference and they wanted to integrate the store. So someone gave them my name and when I got back from conference my mother called me and told me. So that was my first job. And then I went to work. That's summer after Silco closed. I went to work for the school and the summer program, which was under the poverty program at that time. I believe that's what it was funded by. One of the ladies who was the first aid to community action which was under the poverty program. She that was the opening for another aid and she came to see me. And Mr. Brigham agreed to let me go early because the job I had with him would last it all summer. But the boss then, Mr. Lowe, asked me, this was in May, asked to wait until June because there was a young man that he wanted to hire because men were hard to get in the program. So I said yes and in June I went in as a community aide. And but I didn't only work for a year and a half because then my daughter started having emotional problems and I quit full-time but that summer I went back they asked me to come back and I went back in the office as a neighborhood youth corps secretary in the afternoons and the counselor in the mornings. And... [00:16:39][133.1]

[00:16:41] Interview: Now, what are we talking about? Is this the 1970s now, or? This is... [00:16:46][5.0]

[00:16:46] Martha Mifflin: This is, um... That's it. My wife says, I didn't even know I still had it. Ah! From when I worked at the Navy with you, Gloria. That's when I started working with you. That's the only start of the day for you. I think 16. [00:17:40][54.5]

[00:17:43] Interview: Thank you so much. [00:17:43][0.6]

[00:17:55] Martha Mifflin: It must have been 69 because it was then the daycare center restarted and no, no, I spent two years. [00:17:55][0.0] [1009.2]